Learning Your Lesson

“Know thyself.”

“When I’m trusting and being myself… everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously.”
– Shakti Gawain

“I don’t want to be a passenger in my own life.”
-Diane Ackerman

“If you spend your life changing for others, pretty soon there will be nothing of you left.”

These are words I have always taken to heart. Because of this I have often been accused of being immature, unreasonable, and even childish. Everyone has told me this from family members, to teachers to even my soulmate. And to certain degree this is true. I am outspoken, blunt, sarcastic and often uncompromising in who I am. I have always had a lot of attitude and a tendency to speak before I think. My personality is very extroverted and I dress and style myself accordingly. I very much see myself as a  ‘take me as I am’ sort of person. This is not always acceptable to everyone and it has given me no small degree of trouble.

So when I was told this from the people I work with in a job I care a great deal about and wish to stay in, I decided that maybe people are right. Maybe I could stand to rework myself a bit and reconsider the way I face the world. I stood down, kept my mouth shut and tried to let others lead the way while I followed quietly, allowing myself to be molded into the shape the others felt I should be.

And then I got fired for doing exactly that.

Or rather for not doing it well enough to suffice.

So frankly, fuck it. If I am going to be disregarded and looked down upon regardless of my attitude, I’m going to continue to be exactly who I am and to hell with anyone else!


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